How to Pimp ( My / Your ) College Dorm Room. Aka: Fix - Make Right - Improve - Do - Decorate - Furnish - Organize.

How to pimp out your dorm room for when your soul mate visits.

This is a checklist of things you need and things you need to do.

Do as many or as few as you want. Time, space, and budget are always a consideration.

Alternate Titles:

How to Furnish a College Dorm Room

How to Decorate a College Dorm Room

How to Make It Be All That It Can Be.

Remove all biohazards.

Clean up the rest of it. This includes sweeping, mopping, and/or vacuuming. This includes not only dusting, but wiping the finger smudges off of everything.

A pan of baking soda absorbs odors.

If the room has a private bathroom (highly unlikely) or a sink (possible), then it must be spotless.

New bar of soap.

A guest toothbrush (new and still sealed).

Many clean towels.

Yes, you do windows (yeah right).

No visible porn, semi-porn, or other suggestive posters/items.

No visible political posters/items (exceptions may apply).

No visible religious posters/items (exceptions may apply).

Hide your stuffed iguana and dead insect collection, but not under the bed.

A working door-lock and non-squeaky hinges (WD-40).

Functioning windows (WD-40).

Curtains are good.

Throw rugs are good.

Knickknacks are good.

Plants are very good (ask the clerk for the ones that thrive on neglect).

Nice wall pictures. In fact, posters are really the way to go.

A music-capable device.

A well stocked, tabletop refrigerator.

A trash can (with liner).

Give your room subdued lighting capability. Colored lighting is an option. Dark green and blue are good choices. No blinking/moving lights.

A small, lighted aquarium is always a winner. Never buy used; they leak or break. Be sure the aquarium has an aerator; dead fish aren’t romantic. Actually, it migt be a good idea to read up on the subject first.

Do not wear anything with writing on it.

Do not wear anything with pictures on it.

Do not wear horizontal stripes.

Do not include rap in your music selections.

Turn off all communication devices.

Condoms.

A non-squeaky, well-constructed bed.

Kleenex.

For reference purposes; here is a list of other worthy dorm items. It’s all a matter of how much stuff you want to put in there.

As many bookcases and shelving as the room can take.

(Desks/chairs/lamps are a given.)

(Computers are a given.)

(Handheld devices are a given.)

A table and more chairs.

More lamps.

A microwave. Coffee fixings, etc.

A TV.

A shredder.

Other stuff (this list is guaranteed to have forgotten to include something or the other).

2012 Update: One of the chairs should prop up perfectly against the doorknob when you retire for the night.

You may feel that you are in a protected environment. That may not necessarily be so. A college campus is just like every place else; normal life rules and common sense apply.

And do not forget the aforementioned condoms. Disease and pregnancy are no laughing matter. It can happen to you.

There have been media reports about on-campus theft problems. Always lock the door when leaving your room; even if you plan to be away for only a few minutes.

Update: May 10, 2012. News reports of a student waking up in the middle of the night and discovering a burglar watching her from the end of her bed; fortunately, he fled; UCLA.

Actually, the tuition situation has been going on long before 2012. If you are just beginning college, here is probably the most important financial thing you need to know. You absolutely and categorically gain nothing by doing your freshman and sophomore years at a 4-year college or university. Do the first two years at the community college that is nearest you. The money saved will be in the thousands. Different states have different situations. Just be sure to check with your intended 4-year college or university that your credits are transferable from your selected 2-year community college.

The bullies are no more! It's amazing! Where did they go? Colleges and universities are a city; high school is a village. That problem is past.

Plus, everyone is a little older and more mature.

Here is where you will find more friends for life. And not just friends; but people who will make major contributions to your life, career, and general well being. Here is very well where you will find your partner in life.

The joy of thought and chalkboards.

The joy of spontaneously saying something to a stranger and almost always getting a positive response.

The learning of discipline. What you give and do is what you will receive.

The learning of separating the drinkers from the non-drinkers. What happens here is what will be your life. If you are unlucky enough to end up with a roommate who is a drinker (or worse), you need to get yourself a new roommate. Find someone else who has the same problem; it probably wont be that hard. Then swap so that everyone is happy.

The final discovery as to whether learning is a joy or not for you.

The fun of spontaneity; and the realization that actions have consequences.

This is your last stop before Full Darwinism. Make the most of it.

You are not alone. Please share the above information so as to help others. The more people that are knowledgeable, the better off we all are.